Blessings of Friends

💐Friends💐

            I love all my friends, new, old, grumpy, hyper, sad, overly loved, classy, even the ones who think they are better than the others. All of my friends are unique in their own way! I didn’t look at them and say “o I like her/him, I want to be their friend!” It just happened! And with each one my life has been completed in some way.

              Since I was young, to this day each still hold a place in my heart! I remember moving from home to home growing up. As my mother was an alcoholic so we didn’t stay in one place to long, for one reason or another.So through my journey in life I have meant so many wonderful people. 

                 My very first friend named Amanda and if I remember correctly another girl named Krista. I would of been in first grade, me being the new girl at the apartments, they did pick on me some, but they were nice to me too.  Krista invited me to her house for a birthday sleep over and Amanda was invited too. I was so excited because Krista qs older than me and Amanda so I thought I was so cool. Plus, her and Amanda always hung out. I was kinda of the girl Amanda hung out with when Kriata wasn’t available, which I knew but she was my first “real”friend, who was I kidding, I would do anything for her! 

               The night I stayed over hurt m feeling because her and Amanda picked on me so much and kicked me out of their party in the middle of the night. And remind to it was the middle of winter…. So don’t even know much feet of snow was outside, shoot I was in first grade. I cried all night long! But I continued to be Amanda’s friend! Never talked to Krista again! 

                 Second grade came around and I have to say that’s when I meant some very important people! I say they are important because still to this day being 32 I still talk to them, and love them as much as I did as days I played with back then. We always hung out, Dom, Tasha, Larissa!  Next couple years were awesome I had friends that were nice to me and cared! Then mom moved me again.

                   I really don’t remember much until 5th grade I meant a couple a very close friends then…… I talk to occasionally to this day as well….. That would be Karrie and Heather(haven’t caught up to her) I had a couple other close ones but I only remember their faces names I don’t remember too well due to my accident back in 1999(get to that some other time). Us three did everything together. If Heather wasn’t there she was on the phone….. She was always soo comical. That was my favorite thing about her! Karrie and I we spent almost everyday and ever night together, we were unseperable. And this girl Lauren always tried to tear us apart always tried but never did! And to this day we are still friends!!

                 Once again, we moved, back to my home town.  But now I was in middle school and there were all kinds of new people. I met all kinds of people. At this point I realized that all the other people other than the friends I hung out with, also came here, which I will point out later in time, because each person in my life has some how formed me. Here I was reunited with Dom,Tasha,Larissa, and I meant all kinds of people through middle school. Our little group include a few others Brandy, Erin, and Heather.  Then Amanda came to public schools and I meant another girl named Heather. 

              These girls were my rock! We stayed best friends through school, well on and off, because we Ud our arguements, and got mad a each other. We pick sides, and now that I think of it, I’m laughing and crying because it’s so funny…. And I miss those days.

                Through those years until 9th grade I can honestly say I was a wild one! Well started to be! My mom was hardly home so along with the girls from school I also hung out with some of my moms friend children. My moms friend from the bars. They were really like older sisters to me, Heather and Trish, I also meant Staci and Kelly through them. I learned how to be “grown”. Those girls were much older than me. So the girls at school looked up to me because I thin they thought I was more advanced maybe. Not really sure! But I feel I always have a good heart!

                  Hanging out with older girls, they were very much into boys. I pretended like I was to. But I wasn’t too much. I had boyfriends just to be Kool. But I only did so all the other girls thought I was cool. I totally lied and told them I did things with boys so they thought I was advanced like the older girls j hung out with, because I always heard them discussing why they did with who and how! So I knew what to do, pretty well! Never did though! I feel bad now that I’m older because I feel some of the girls wouldn’t of did down of the things they did, because I think they did because they thought I did! But then again, that could just be me being guilty for not being honest.

                  I think about these girls now and see how happy they are and wonder if they would of went down the other path would they be worse off or better off! I just think God handled it very well. He works in mysterious ways.

                   So my 9 th grade year, I moved away from my childhood friends and to this day only seen a few. We left in April,1999. I was devistated! Some days I still am! But I have wonderful people in my life! I went to a new school off the bat I meant a new group of people, and they were great! My memory by this time is foggy because I had bad car wreck 2 weeks after I got there. 

                      I hung out with Amber, Shawn, Jason, Donnie, Adam, Chris, Shane, and Nate. Everyone was so nice in the south. It was so different than where I was from. Amber and Shawn were so nice….. Shawn and I hung out mostly we really clicked. Our moms were very similar, I think that’s why. 

                           Then next school year was really hard people treated me like I was just physically incapable to do anything, overly helping, granted it was nice, but I felt smothered. I skipped a lot of school! So I meant people through my boyfriend(ex husband). His friends treated me kindly, I felt loved and mostly liked. I didn’t feel judged, frowned upon or helpless. As I got older I jumped from friends to friends just trying to fit in! 

                       I really didn’t find my place until I meant Candice, Melissa, and Kassie. I also hung out with Melanie. I adored the ladies. They were always sooo fun to hang out with. I watch them go through things and made me happy, break my heart, and sometimes make me cry. But as we got older we just lost touch. I really got close though to Candice and Missy(Melissa)! They were my besties! I remember sitting at home and crying when I didn’t get invited to do things with them.

                        I actually had my first baby my senior year! I don’t regret having her, but I missed out on so much! Candice and Missy moved on without me! It kind of felt like! It wasn’t their fault, I know but it made me depressed!  Knowing they had secrets I didn’t know, made me angry and hurt. At times I felt like I just needed my friends and they weren’t around! But I knew it wasn’t their fault I had a responsibility, they had none!

                         I remember talking about getting best friend tattoos…… So we never be apart! In my heart they always have a spot! I wish at times I could of had a duplicate of me and been there at times they needed me because of life’s situations but that’s just not the case as I do all my friends! But as I have gotten older I realized everyone in life has had a purpose!

                          Now that I’m older I still have great friends I don’t know what I do without them, Sarah and Vannessa, And recently meant a very influential lady, Tea. I know everyone we cross has a special reasoning in our life! And I know each one has had a special place in my heart! These have just been a few of the people I have mentioned in my life there are plenty more to come! 

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