I remember this day like it was yesterday! My mom was leaving town to go get her car. My aunt was watching me and my sister. Our instructions were, when we got up, to walk to her house and stay with my aunt.
On the way, a friend from school had passed us on the “main strip”, that is what Main Street was called, some called it the drag. It was the strip from Walmart through town to the other side busted a block and back to walmart. After you got your liscense this is what you did, to meet up with your friends, find the local parties, hang out spots or park and chit chat about the night before or skip school, whatever you were in to, or your group did. This was it!
I had only lived in town, well really about a month, but didn’t get to enroll in school about 2 weeks because when we moved there they had their spring break, so I was new. I had a lot of friends, no where near as many as back home because well for one my home town was way bigger and well I was pretty shy. Still to this day I pretty much still am. I love meeting people, and talking I just don’t walk up and start talking I kind of wait to be talked to, kind of how I was raised!
This would be a Saturday, so the day before was Prom! O yea! I had the best day ever! Skipped school with the hottest guys ever! David was his name, totally had a super crush on him! His friend Aaron was dating my friend at the time and they asked us to skip school to go shopping, for their after Prom outfits! I was totally in. I remember riding in Davies truck and we were so high and ran right into the back of this old ladies car at a red light, she was about to go and immediately stop and boom right into the back of it, we freaked out! She got out, and realized we skipping school, he explained we were so sorry, and I think he knew who he was and I think she smelled him to, she started laughing said its ok, I was young to, no damage done you guys be careful and along we went!
We laughed all day about! All those boys talked about was how beer was different there and they had friends going south to get 6 point beer. At the time I had no clue, but totally acted like I understood! And was totally excited like they were! They talked about all the parties! And invited me to go and I was like I wish! But knew I couldn’t go! I promised my mom when we moved I’d change my behavior, new place, a new person!
So a friend I knew pulled over asked me and my sister if we wanted a ride! I had known he was the one who went south! I had went to several parties previously before, since I moved there. My mom didn’t know. I had been hanging out with a girl named Shawn. Her mom knew my mom! And they were friends, they went to bars together so she trusted me with her. What she didn’t know was we hung out with her boyfriend who had huge ass parties! Which is how I meant this guy! We will call him, R! He will become very well known later through my life!
Well R, needless to say knew my aunt, and within a short few blocks and through small talk after I told him what I was doing, insisted I hang with him for the day, since they had a shit load of beer left from the night prior, and at this point of my life, I couldn’t refuse! (I will go into how I started drinking at a later time!)
We get to my aunts, and of course she knew R, and she trusted him! She knew him to be a great kid! Everyone in town did! Laid back, easy going, quiet, always laughed, always had fun, everyone liked him, and he sure did have a charm. The plan was my sister had to go too, which was usual for me, I didn’t mind, my aunt drank everyday all day, so I felt safer with her with me anyways while my mom wasn’t around, I’ve taken care of her since I was 7 anyways and being 15 now it was more of my responsibility than hers anyways!
My aunts exact words were, ” keep these girls safe, do not let them leave your side!” And off we were! By this time it was around 11:00am. This day is kinda of funny to say the least and kind of weird to say but it was one of the funnest days of my life! I got to hang out at the lake, I meant so many new people! We went so many place, yes we were drinking! I had been trying to get a hold of Shawn all day, because my friend Amber was grounded so she couldn’t go anywhere. We drove by her house several times, no one home! We called no answer!
I remember the day being sooo hot I was from up north so the heat was new to me! I swam so much, besides I lived around water my whole life and that’s what I love to do and still do. We ran off the road once, going around a curve and I bumped my head on R cheek, he had gotten in a fight a few weeks prior so he already ud a black eye and had to have surgery, and a knot bulged up on his cheek bone from where I was sitting on his lap. But we were good.
I remember we had to go change cars because we had his sisters car and she needed it back so we had to go to R moms house to get his parents car. We sat in that driveway felt like forever. His friend Randy, had been driving, and we all been drinking. Felt like we sat in that car for hours but I guess it was only 30 minutes or so, then I seen Shawns moms van drive by, she lived a few miles down the road.
I told Randy hey there goes Shawn! Next thing I know he throws it in reverse and out the drive we go, him hollering, I’m tired of waiting he will catch up! Here came R running out the the house! And down the road we went! This road wasn’t any regular road, it was A very loose gravel road! There was a truck I front of us and the next thing I know I flipped my cigarette out, and said “holy fucking shit we are gonna die!”
The next thing I remember is a nurse asking me what my name was, and asking me a million questions, and I can’t remember a thing! I look back now! And I’m still wondering what the fuck!
After I flipped my cigarette out, the vehicle I was in did 3, 360, and landed in a 12ft ditch at 90 mph, missing a fencing post and a tree by a frog hair! The vehicle I was “joy” riding in did not have proper seatbelt so I was not wearing one! It was and 80’s model ford escort, with the metal sliders for the heat and air that had rubber missing from the sliders, my face was implanted in that, for 27 minutes before jaws of life could rescue me from the car! The radio was missing or my face could have been a lot worse than it was!
I was rushed to the ER, they were going to drill a hole in my head, due to the severe head trauma I had, but helicopter was already on its way to transport me to the large city near, so they didn’t have time, good thing that could have killed me! On the way to children’s hospital in the helicopter they lost me! My left collapse and my left eye lid was practically ripped off, the reports say u could actually see my eye!
I was in in a comma for 14 days, the first half asleep the second I was up on and off! They say I was acting crazy, saying I was other people. Like I heard about Brittany Spears having leg surgery so I told people I was her. There also was bad tornados, so I was people that were on the news! It may sound funny but at the time the doctor said I may stay like that forever! While I was in intensive care they did loose me 2 more times within the 3 days after my wreck!
4 weeks after I was moved to a rehabilitation. They still weren’t sure wether I was going to ever go home. I had to be under surveillance, I had to have alarms on me because I kept trying to leave the building! The doctors were playing ear by ear, day by day, because my trauma was soo bad! At first my recovery was super slow and my mom was looking for nursing home to put me in, because with the head trauma I had, had it was unlikely is recover!
I was there for 3 weeks and home I went! Still to this day I feel it was too early! Because I can hardly remember my ride home, besides my mom asking me over and over , are you ok, am I going to fast! And what I have to do, and what I can’t do! And I can’t see R! That mad me mad! Because that was all I heard! It wasn’t his fault! I knew, it was mine! I chose to do what I did! And I chose to drink!
And to blame someone else for my wrong doing was wrong! Or to hold herself accountable or anyone else for that matter was wrong! It made me madder! And the emotions I felt could never explain!
Even to this day, I’m glad that my life happened the way it did! I regret the pain it caused for my family, and all those involved! I deeply do! But my life changed! It took years after all that happened for me to realize, because my drinking continued after I got home for years on and off, due to anger, regret, and self hatred! But before my wreck I was a very mean person! I didn’t care about anyone! I didn’t care about people or their feelings! Not even mine! After my wreck I realized all the things in life could be gone before you know it, without a goodbye! Without a chance, and without a do over, and that’s why I’m glad it happened, it really put things in perspective! Made me realize a lot of things, that’s why I care about people, people I never would have thought of caring for, that’s why I always thing of every view not just one view!
Life is amazing! Yes some days I wonder why he kept me here! Because it gets tough and I question everything, but as I get older I choose what battles are worth fighting and what ones are not!