mySestina’s blogging secrets

This helps a lot!!!!!

mySestina

Could I share my secrets for the stats in the picture above?

Could you please share this post as much as possible in order to help the existing members and the new comers to the blogging community.

I complete 4 months in the blogging world today and believe me, I have relished every second of my time that I spent on WordPress.

As a newcomer, we all have our questions, hesitations and we strive to learn, to grow, to have more followers, to have more likes and visibililty for our blogs.

Let me share my understanding of how to achieve a little extra on your blog.

  1. Enjoy blogging. Writing must only be done when you enjoy it to the core. We must not write forcefully as the forced writing has no charm and beauty in it.
  2. Speak your heart out and let the world know how you feel through your…

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That Gut Feeling

You ever just have that feeling or lingering feeling in the bottom of your stomach that tells you down thing isn’t right. I’ve always been told to just listen to it. I always seem to think the benifit of the doubt. And second chances are good! And in some cases they most defiantly are. 

     When you give some one chance after chance and that gut feeling that it will be better. You may need to listen to that feeling. Is that that feeling the feeling that you “want” it to be better? Or simply “it is” going to be better?

       It seems I have been hesitate to give him another chance I mean 5 years has been a long time to just give up on. But I haven’t been able to shake the feeling of what he’s done and been doing, and being honest. And sure enough that gut feeling was right again. Found him lying again.

      See I been seeing what he does watching pataiently over my wall. To see how serious he was about really wanting to “be a family” and “how much he loves me”. But once again he lied! I had a feeling he wasn’t as serious as he said. And it seems he only treats me like he cares when he nothing else is going his way. 

       He gets so mad because I wouldn’t just up and move him back, but why! If he can’t be loyal to me and honest! He won’t be with me! I always seem to think he’s going to “change” because you never was this way. He use to be so different. And my gut feeling says one more time, one more time. But his track record says it’s never gonna end! And apparently it’s not! It’s heart trenching because I have so much hope and belief! But he deceives me everytime.

         And on top of all that I’m going through so much already and he has to lie!!! Why do people lie! Just shows sometimes you need to just listen to your gut feelings or some people say intuition because it most of the time if most certainly correct!!!!

Curveballs

It seems as soon as things slow down another curveball gets thrown my way. I have always been told what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And God never gives you what you can’t handle. But when is enough, enough! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!

   When will I have proven I am strong! I am good! I can do it because I have already been threw so much! And I’m only 33! My parent were divorced when I was young, I was raised by a single parent, who drank all the time, I was molested by her boyfriend, I have been date raped! I have been in a car wreck that about killed me due to my own drinking problem! I a kid before I graduated(my graduation year!) I had 3 more on top of that! I got married and divorced! I was in an abusive relationship, mentally, physically and emotionally! I got put in jail once, 12 hours, but I still did it! Put on probation! I mean I was treated aweful and took me forever to clear me and make myself look good and my name again! And on top of all of that now my mom is dying!

  Not on top of all the other emotional shit I deal with in a daily, either because my daddy hasn’t really never been around! I have put my heart out to those I have tried to love and got nothing in return! I have always been told to treat others as you want to be treated! I have plants my seeds! So why is I have to do this!!! This is one thing in my life I never thought I’d have to deal with this soon!!! I pictured wheeling her around being old and gray together this is by far not how I pictured it! 

   I can’t even wrap my head around this situation! This is too soon! And apparently she has known for a year! A FUCKIN YEAR!!! ( pardon my language! I’m very upset!) How can you keep having Brain cancer away from your kids for a year!!! And give nothing to them! No answers to their questions!

   Now I get the part of not wanting us to re-arrange our life because of her sickness, she is head strong! She is very bull-headed and she can do everything herself! But we want to be with her! We want to share these moments and have fun and remember how ever long she has left with her! And not knowing and what’s exactly wrong, and how much, and this and that! Is killing us!!! Me and my sisters! 

    She has given us one story after another! We can’t go to doctor appointments! We can’t drive her! We are not pittying her, we want to be involved!! We care, we love our mama!!! We have had a very rough life but it’s only been her!!! This curveball hasn’t stopped turning since Thursday!!!!!

    I just wanna be with my mama! And or alone!!! I love my Mama! 

Clocks Tell Many Things

People usually look at clocks to tell the time. And time does it tell. It tells the time of day, but if you look at the clock it self, tells you more than just the day.

    A certain time brings back memories, or you can make memories at certain times. When you glance at the time a moment comes to your mind. But if you look even closer the clock itself tells the time.

     Times the clock was made. By the wood it was made, the way it was made and the furnishings it was made from. Clocks were made generations ago. And people have been very creative.

       When I think of clocks, I will always think of moments and times those moments have happened with my mother and those I loved. Because timeing is everything, and it’s something you can never get back. 

#Depth

Today just marked my new definition of this word. I read the challenge a few days ago. My original post was completely different than it turns out to be! 

     I originally thought I would write a blog about how differently this word is perceived. People have so many different meanings and thoughts on this word and I’m sure they do many other words. But this I wanted to see.

      I asked all my kids, and few friends to write at least a paragraph of what came to their mind when they heard the word depth.  Of course everyone at least said something similar to the ocean and somehow it measured it up. But 3 also included a feeling, how it measured their feelings up.

      And today I can tell you I just felt what I thought would never measure up to what I thought I felt when my mother told me she had brain cancer. She just told me about 2 hours ago. Apparently she has known for about a month. 

        I have a half sister who was over swimming and she came in the room and my dad told my mom to tell her and she now knows. My mom also had an appointment last week to fin out how far along it is and options because she refuses to take chemo. Along with adding not tell my sister! I use to be good a keeping secrets but as I have gotten older I am not too good at it besides surprises and what not. I get a guilty conscious and only because my family is family and they mean the world to me and truth is always better than lies.

       Plus I’m always problem solver and resolve family issues. So I break news and fix them. I feel bad when feelings get hurt but that only lasts a little bit. Because when it’s out and fixed they become even stronger than before.

        Now the feeling and depth of hurt and sadness this felt is untouchable. I hear people passing away and becoming sick and never could consule them because I didn’t really understand the feelings. And now, I feel can relate. This saddens me in so many ways. For those going through this is some way, the people who have went through this, or fixing to go through this, no words or feelings can compare to questions, the answers, the decisions you have to make.

Depth has a whole new meaning! I believe there is no definition! No comparison! There is analogy, to define depth!

#dp-depth @dp-depth

Life is Full of Beauty

When your look out your window, do you notice the spot in the grass that seems to be greener than the rest? Did you notice that huge flower off that tree you drive by yesterday?

    Everyday, I seem to notice small things just like that. I like to think it’s a reminder of how beautiful today is. Even the clouds in the sky, that start that stuck out like a light bulb or even the way the moon looked last night. (The moon is always my favorite!)

      I don’t usually look at the big changes its always the small ones that catch my eye. And the fact that life has so many beautiful pleasures. People have a tendency to be on the go so fast that they miss life’s little pleasures.

      It amazes me to see and hear how you can travel down the same road everyday back and forth and a month later actually realize a new house, or a new tree planted, or as little as a change. We go so fast to keep up with everything around us that we miss the small things that matter.

        I just love life’s simple beauty and little pleasures everyday!